The Past Year -- It's a Wrap!

I have missed writing this past year.  I have missed thinking of what to say and share and ponder.  It has been just a bit longer than 11 months since I have posted here and I think it is about time to keep going.  If you know me at all or if you remember my previous post from last January you will realize that the days here in the middle of Pennsyltucky have been in a state of flux due to something called LIFE.  It has not been a bad thing, just a very different thing.  Nonetheless, here I sit, cuddled up in my cozy blanket, listening to the winter wind and watching the snow literally fly past my window ready to take on a new year.  2013 can take a flying leap into my memory bank. It has exhausted me, surprised me, exhilarated me, stunned me, ignored me and humbled me.  I send it on it's way with a hearty handshake and the hope that it will not have 2014 follow in it's footsteps.

A very short synopsis of the year is this: 
The year began when Adam came home to stay because of his MS; his flare up in December was intense and for the next 6 months he could not walk.   Soon after, Shane arranged for him to get excellent physical therapy at a rehab service in Mifflintown and it has been a Godsend.  They work with skill and humor everyday.

Mike and I have learned how to share our home with a strong and amazing young man who has given us many days of laughter, awe at what he is made of, worry about what could be, strength in family and family values, pride in his spirit and witness to hardship in living a new kind of life. Faith is here all the time, too.

Our circle of family and friends has grown exponentially! My parents, siblings and extended family have been terrific, as always.  The benefit in Adam's honor was a huge boost to our life and a great day of seeing the goodness in this place. Old friends from Clarkstown High School have lifted me up with messages of support, facebook comments and generosity. I never knew they would be a part of my life again and am very grateful that they are. Our small part of this world is chock full of loving and giving people who exude the "can do" attitude everyday. 

In July Adam gave up using the motorized scooter and relies, almost exclusively, on his own two shaky legs and a fabulous cane. He was able to buy a car and get back a huge amount of independance. As the saying almost goes - when life gives you lemons, get a kitten! Mia has been hysterically funny and a great source of exercise for the legs as well as the heart of Adam.  She came to our home because she was abandoned and, according to the people that found her, purrfect! They were right. 

The summer gave me a pallet garden (big success) and a trip to Cape Cod with my sisters, brother and parents (also a big success)! and down time. I enjoyed the productions of our community theatre and the fires in our custom made fire pit along with the new friends we made in our neighborhood. Back to school meant  extended job duties that I did not want and knew nothing about, but, have turned out to be a good thing teaching me that I can still learn some new tricks!! 

The winter, so far, has been uneventful with the exception of my Mother in Law's accident, Shane's torn meniscus, and the terrible season of both the J. E. T. S. and the Giants (something I really could care less about but others here are into).  It has also provided me with a chance to become addicted to the TV show "Scandal".  With the exception of the football teams, all will be well sooner or later.   

So, here we are again at the New Year. What is in store is a mystery. What I pray for is the strength to carry on and a continuation of all the blessings from the past 12 months to continue. Even though I step over this threshold into 2014 not knowing what will be I am sure to enter it with an open heart and a love for all of you who have hugged, loved, shared and been there to lean on. Let the adventure continue and let there be peace.

Lesson: keep treading!

It's funny. Well, not ha ha funny but interesting funny.

Life.  It can be moving along swimmingly and then out of nowhere you start to go under.  You can kick and flail and shout or you can relax and lean back and try and float using faith and patience, trust and hope to carry you along. The harder you try to fight it the faster you go down so - relax!!  Believe me, as much as you want to you have no other choice, so you just take one step at a time and attempt to understand the changes.

I am not an expert on this stuff.  I am an amateur for sure.  But, I have recently been let into an exclusive club.  I never wanted to be excluded more from anything in my life!!   The club is the one where someone you love is dealing with something you cant fix.  In our case it is a disease called Multiple Sclerosis.  It is not a life ending situation but, man, is it ever a life changing one.

Right before Christmas my son was diagnosed with MS.  It was not a total shock since his symptoms had been showing up for awhile.  Nonetheless, when you are witness to a specialized doctor telling your son he does have this disease (after a week of testing) you feel small and meek.  Dorothy Gale was right!  in front of the wizard you will do just about anything to get back to normal. I would gladly hunt down the wicked witch and melt her into oblivion.  Too bad for me, no witch will take this away.

Fast forward to New Years Eve morning.  Our elderly and very sweet dog suffered a stroke in the early hours and before nine he was gone.  A hard decision had to be made; it was the right decision.  We will miss that old dog everyday. Even the cat misses him. We grieved and then, because we had to, we moved on. Like I said life is funny.  

So, in two weeks time we had two rather momentous events in our quiet household.  Now what?

My son is adjusting to new routines that involve self administration of injections on a daily basis, relying on devices to get him safely from place to place, living back here with us after being on his own for so long and not being able to work due to his condition.  He has filled out pages upon pages of paperwork.  His life goals are different, he has a lot of uncertainty, yet he is so positive, strong and very accepting of the situation.   Yes, he has his moments but they really are few and far between.  We laugh a lot and we share a lot.  Even though I wanted him to live closer this is not at all the way I wanted him to be here, but with that said, he is such good company and the reason we now put bacon on seemingly everything and sip bourbon on cold winter nights.

I would gladly change places with him.  If only I could.

Now let me tell you that even though there have been losses, and big ones, there have been amazing gains!!   Never ever ever before have we ever needed or been the recipients of the kindness and love that we have felt recently.  My colleagues are sweet and generous beyond belief.  The church has made some hard things so much easier.  My school has let me know that I can and should take the time I need away from work to help care for my son.  My family has been comforting and available.  Our older son is a natural helper and an amazing organizer, as well as a tremendous support and provider of all manner of comfort mechanical and not. Our community has been generous in the donations coming in. Both old and new friends have opened their hearts and wallets to me and mine and answered my questions, assured me and given me strength. My neighbors are fun and so giving and helpful. Prayers are being said for us and we know it helps! Blessings abound.

This year is one of new beginnings.  All new years are.  You never know what will come your way but you face it.  Like the saying goes, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.