The Past Year -- It's a Wrap!

I have missed writing this past year.  I have missed thinking of what to say and share and ponder.  It has been just a bit longer than 11 months since I have posted here and I think it is about time to keep going.  If you know me at all or if you remember my previous post from last January you will realize that the days here in the middle of Pennsyltucky have been in a state of flux due to something called LIFE.  It has not been a bad thing, just a very different thing.  Nonetheless, here I sit, cuddled up in my cozy blanket, listening to the winter wind and watching the snow literally fly past my window ready to take on a new year.  2013 can take a flying leap into my memory bank. It has exhausted me, surprised me, exhilarated me, stunned me, ignored me and humbled me.  I send it on it's way with a hearty handshake and the hope that it will not have 2014 follow in it's footsteps.

A very short synopsis of the year is this: 
The year began when Adam came home to stay because of his MS; his flare up in December was intense and for the next 6 months he could not walk.   Soon after, Shane arranged for him to get excellent physical therapy at a rehab service in Mifflintown and it has been a Godsend.  They work with skill and humor everyday.

Mike and I have learned how to share our home with a strong and amazing young man who has given us many days of laughter, awe at what he is made of, worry about what could be, strength in family and family values, pride in his spirit and witness to hardship in living a new kind of life. Faith is here all the time, too.

Our circle of family and friends has grown exponentially! My parents, siblings and extended family have been terrific, as always.  The benefit in Adam's honor was a huge boost to our life and a great day of seeing the goodness in this place. Old friends from Clarkstown High School have lifted me up with messages of support, facebook comments and generosity. I never knew they would be a part of my life again and am very grateful that they are. Our small part of this world is chock full of loving and giving people who exude the "can do" attitude everyday. 

In July Adam gave up using the motorized scooter and relies, almost exclusively, on his own two shaky legs and a fabulous cane. He was able to buy a car and get back a huge amount of independance. As the saying almost goes - when life gives you lemons, get a kitten! Mia has been hysterically funny and a great source of exercise for the legs as well as the heart of Adam.  She came to our home because she was abandoned and, according to the people that found her, purrfect! They were right. 

The summer gave me a pallet garden (big success) and a trip to Cape Cod with my sisters, brother and parents (also a big success)! and down time. I enjoyed the productions of our community theatre and the fires in our custom made fire pit along with the new friends we made in our neighborhood. Back to school meant  extended job duties that I did not want and knew nothing about, but, have turned out to be a good thing teaching me that I can still learn some new tricks!! 

The winter, so far, has been uneventful with the exception of my Mother in Law's accident, Shane's torn meniscus, and the terrible season of both the J. E. T. S. and the Giants (something I really could care less about but others here are into).  It has also provided me with a chance to become addicted to the TV show "Scandal".  With the exception of the football teams, all will be well sooner or later.   

So, here we are again at the New Year. What is in store is a mystery. What I pray for is the strength to carry on and a continuation of all the blessings from the past 12 months to continue. Even though I step over this threshold into 2014 not knowing what will be I am sure to enter it with an open heart and a love for all of you who have hugged, loved, shared and been there to lean on. Let the adventure continue and let there be peace.

Helplessly Hoping, not the song.

For the past few months the reunion page has been getting more and more hits on Facebook.  I check it out often, seeing posts by people who are planning on going, those reaching out for info on long lost friends and the general banter between people who have kept in touch over the last 4 decades.  I have not kept in touch with many of my high school classmates, even those who swore under their senior picture that we would always be friends and our bond was too strong to break.  I did have the good fortune a year ago to share a great brunch with 3 girls from school, and it may have been the only time the four of us did anything social together.  It was wonderful and I am grateful to Bonnie, Laurie and Barbara for the gift of that day. A brunch with just a few people is one thing, but this is totally different. 

As the party gets closer I get more nervous.  I really want to go and have committed to being there.  I sent in the money.  I even think I know what I am going to wear!  In the back of my mind, however, is the nagging thought of being on the outside looking in; becoming, once again, the awkward person I was back then, not having one hundredth of the self knowledge that I have now. 

When I tell my current friends that this occasion is coming up most say the same thing, that they don't do reunions.  They loathe them, actually, and would rather eat worms than go and see the people that they spent four years with in high school. 

Not encouraging.

In August I took a little tour of Clarkstown High School. I walked through the front doors and remembered where the library is, where the attendance office and auditorium are, where my locker was and wandered in an about for a while.  I walked into the gym and looked up at the names on the far wall of the stellar athletes who played there.  I knew exactly how to get to the annex and peeked into the girls room that now is smoke free.  It felt good to be there. Good to have flashbacks to the days when our football Saturdays were littered with tiny bits of IBM punch card confetti, purple and gold was worn proudly together, corsages with bubble gum adorned us on our Sweet 16th birthdays and we turned our class rings 72 times! I remember our long hair on both boys and girls, our hippyish ways, earth shoes and faded jeans, our huge class and the crushes we all had.  I remember falling in love with James Taylor and his songs, and gazing lovingly at his picture on the Sweet Baby James album in the cafeteria.  I still place my hands on the home keys of my keyboard (asdf semi lkj) and remember driver's ed in-car antics and the senior breakfast. Whenever I hear the song "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Good-bye" it reminds me of an amazing basketball season!  I remember the bright yellow halter top dress I wore to the senior dinner and the great friends I went with! and the Pub, of course.

None of that makes me less nervous because even though I am not that awkward girl anymore she lives on in my memory.  I still have to walk into that room in a few weeks with my short hair that is more white than brown, and share my very ordinary (but pretty wonderful) life of the past 40 years with people who I would not know if I ran into them on the street and may never have hung out with all those years ago. Yes, it is giving me ajeda even as I write this! but, in a good way, I think.

So, class of 1972, I am counting on you all to remember that I will have a million butterflies in my stomach, and that this is not going to be easy.  I promise, if you remember this about me, I will return the favor and remember that you may also be a bit jittery.  See you in October.