Longest

I have discovered that somethings are just miserable, long lasting and horrible, depression inducing and sigh causing. They are annoying as all get out and yet we have no choice but to endure. I have decided to share this wonderment, so here you go.

Worry. Only 5 letters long but anxiety inducing. I worry a lot. I didnt worry much as a kid but in the last ten or so years I worry about so much. My parents and their health and well being, my sons and the lives they have, my husband and the struggles we face. The uncertainty of it all and the uselessness of my worrying on the outcome of anything makes for long, often restless, nights.

Remembering. Long ago and far away things hold a special and wonderful place in our hearts sometimes. Then there are the not so wonderful things. Words that made me cry, actions that shook me to my core, people who are gone or far away and I miss. The circumstances of life can linger and hurt for a long long time.

Regret. How long do we regret the what ifs of our past? What if I had taken that job, or expressed my opinion sooner, or stepped out of my comfort zone? What if I had not been so intimidated by the world when I was young? What if I had believed more in myself then? Regret lingers a long time.

February. What is it about this short month that makes it so long?? It brings me nothing but gray dreariness most of the time, sprinkled with annoying bits of Valentine's Day pressure and a usual case of the blahs. I hate the cold and we get enormous amounts of cold in the second four weeks of the year. My toes freeze and I shiver which then makes me want to hibernate. So I do. February is the longest month.

Cleaning. This is the longest word in the language since it is never ever ever complete. I dont enjoy doing it, I put it off, I avoid and I ignore for as long as possible. I used to have live-in helper boys to share the load but they are now stuck cleaning their own places. I have heard some people enjoy this drudgery. I havent met them yet.

Hair. Right now my hair is the longest it has been in decades. It now reaches to the middle of my back and needs a few more inches to be long enough to donate. I remember my teenage days when we all had the longest hair (guys as well as girls)and think back to how long ago those days were. Now I have to decide if I will be brave enough after it is cut to let what remains be natural; meaning let the gray shine through. That decision may take a long time.

Remember in A Charlie Brown Christmas when Linus tells Charlie Brown "of all the Charlie Browns in the world you are the Charlie Browniest"? I think a Linus lesson right about now would help immensely. I know we all have times that are less than optimal (the kids say they suck but I prefer less than optimal), and I have lots and lots of things, including faith, that are not making me think the end is near, but sometimes it just needs to be said that I have had enough of the longness of things. I want some short, sweet, mellow and sparkly something to rain down on me.

Anytime now. February is lingering.