My goal is one

I have a sensitive heart. I know it and I cant do anything to change it, nor would I like to. I went into the field of human services because of it. I have always tried to help those that need help whether it be a client when I worked for ARC in New York, a bride with little money when I was a saleswoman in that industry, the tough on the outside loner in middle school, or an immigrant child with a Christmas wish that I was able to fulfill. The work I have done (along with many others) over the past decade on our anti-bullying program at work has been both a joy and an aggravation. My sensitive heart led me to volunteer and, for awhile,I was the only Paraprofessional on the committee. It was right up my alley. We have developed a well respected and ever-changing program that is used in both our middle schools. We call it Planet Peace.

In the past few weeks I have heard more than one adult comment on the futility of such programs in the schools. It is true that bullying behaviors exist everywhere and I know it is still in our schools but I also know that it exists in businesses who have people in power who bully, TV reality shows, universities, and in families where one spouse is able to control the other by using tactics known to bullies. I have heard teachers in the past complain of having to teach the lessons provided to them and then tell me how hard it is to be "touchy-feely". Sometimes I feel I have to defend what we are trying to do. For a long time I could not read the feedback from our monthly lessons because it was so critical. I don't defend it anymore. I just know it is right.

I recognize wrong, too. I know that the words and slurs and innuendo that my father was called as an Italian-American are wrong. I know that saying something "is so gay" to mean not cool is wrong. Being a Jersey girl means something different to a lot of people now because of both the Housewives show and Jersey Shore, and having known lots of Jersey girls I can tell you the TV image is wrong. Talking heads who scream at their guests and cut them off or assume they are more patriotic because of what they believe are wrong. Former boyfriends who bombard their exes at work or home with repeated nasty phone calls are wrong. Kids taking their own lives because of the taunting, stalking, cyber attacks and relentlessness of others is wrong.

My philosophy has become the philosophy of one. If what we teach stops one kid from bullying we have succeeded. If it allows one young person to be an ally and stand beside a victim we have succeeded. If it enables one child to use the tools we teach to reach out for help we have succeeded. If one cocky 8th grader gains empathy for one not so cool 8th grader we have succeeded. I can live with helping one kid become more aware each year. I hope we reach many more than one but my goal is still that one.

The hub-bub after the rash of suicides due to bullying earlier this fall seems to have died down. In our school community, however, there is still a movement for awareness. We will share the message again this week, we will wear our I AM wristbands and t-shirts and teach again that what we say and do has consequences. We will show the I AM videos (some new ones made for the younger kids, too) and we will try and reach one more.

Anti-bullying week begins on Monday. One more chance to spread the message.

Desmond Tutu: "it is time for the world to think about new and improved ways to protect the future generations of tomorrow"