Lesson: keep treading!

It's funny. Well, not ha ha funny but interesting funny.

Life.  It can be moving along swimmingly and then out of nowhere you start to go under.  You can kick and flail and shout or you can relax and lean back and try and float using faith and patience, trust and hope to carry you along. The harder you try to fight it the faster you go down so - relax!!  Believe me, as much as you want to you have no other choice, so you just take one step at a time and attempt to understand the changes.

I am not an expert on this stuff.  I am an amateur for sure.  But, I have recently been let into an exclusive club.  I never wanted to be excluded more from anything in my life!!   The club is the one where someone you love is dealing with something you cant fix.  In our case it is a disease called Multiple Sclerosis.  It is not a life ending situation but, man, is it ever a life changing one.

Right before Christmas my son was diagnosed with MS.  It was not a total shock since his symptoms had been showing up for awhile.  Nonetheless, when you are witness to a specialized doctor telling your son he does have this disease (after a week of testing) you feel small and meek.  Dorothy Gale was right!  in front of the wizard you will do just about anything to get back to normal. I would gladly hunt down the wicked witch and melt her into oblivion.  Too bad for me, no witch will take this away.

Fast forward to New Years Eve morning.  Our elderly and very sweet dog suffered a stroke in the early hours and before nine he was gone.  A hard decision had to be made; it was the right decision.  We will miss that old dog everyday. Even the cat misses him. We grieved and then, because we had to, we moved on. Like I said life is funny.  

So, in two weeks time we had two rather momentous events in our quiet household.  Now what?

My son is adjusting to new routines that involve self administration of injections on a daily basis, relying on devices to get him safely from place to place, living back here with us after being on his own for so long and not being able to work due to his condition.  He has filled out pages upon pages of paperwork.  His life goals are different, he has a lot of uncertainty, yet he is so positive, strong and very accepting of the situation.   Yes, he has his moments but they really are few and far between.  We laugh a lot and we share a lot.  Even though I wanted him to live closer this is not at all the way I wanted him to be here, but with that said, he is such good company and the reason we now put bacon on seemingly everything and sip bourbon on cold winter nights.

I would gladly change places with him.  If only I could.

Now let me tell you that even though there have been losses, and big ones, there have been amazing gains!!   Never ever ever before have we ever needed or been the recipients of the kindness and love that we have felt recently.  My colleagues are sweet and generous beyond belief.  The church has made some hard things so much easier.  My school has let me know that I can and should take the time I need away from work to help care for my son.  My family has been comforting and available.  Our older son is a natural helper and an amazing organizer, as well as a tremendous support and provider of all manner of comfort mechanical and not. Our community has been generous in the donations coming in. Both old and new friends have opened their hearts and wallets to me and mine and answered my questions, assured me and given me strength. My neighbors are fun and so giving and helpful. Prayers are being said for us and we know it helps! Blessings abound.

This year is one of new beginnings.  All new years are.  You never know what will come your way but you face it.  Like the saying goes, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.