Sunday, April 15, 2012

A fine strand of twisted fibers

There are times when you just have to sit back and listen. Listen to the birds singing, or the faucet dripping or the crowd clapping. I have been listening lately to the thunderous gush of wind as the world is whizzing by at record speed! and there have been times I have wanted to be Atlas-like and slow it down. No such powers here, alas.

One of the things I was able to hear just the other day was the conversation between two people I work with who happen to be first cousins. I was a passenger in the back seat of the car and they were in the front. Two people my age, both in education and both bantering back and forth about everything the way cousins do. It was fascinating to see the dynamic in action. I was definitely included in the conversations but sometimes it took a curve into "do you remember" times and I just sat back and enjoyed. They teased each other about one being much much older, and by much much I think it is 8 weeks! They spoke of siblings and long ago get-togethers and elderly parents. And chickens. Both have chickens in their yards for both the eggs and the tick eating properties of guinea hens! It was fun and funny. And familiar, too.

I, too, have great siblings and cousins,whom I have mentioned before; none much much older than I because I am the oldest. I am not, however, the wisest. I am not really sure I know who is but there are lots of contenders. They will let me know. Our shared heritage ties us together with a long thread. The thread links us and our stories together in good times and in bad; we dont have chickens (yet) but we have talked about it, we do have the "do you remember" moments. Favorites are when we get to view old pictures taken from when our parents were children and others are newer, from our own travels down life's path. Pictures tell stories, some understood and some not. Recently shared was the one of our grandparents on the beach with pots and pans and pocketbooks. Or the banana curled little girls and a boy in short pants sitting on the brownstone steps. Years later a picture may be of a preteen doing a cartwheel, a young ballerina or the gap toothed grin of a six year old smiling at us. A bride, a puppy, a beer drinking picnicker, there are so many. We celebrate the accomplishments of each other and each others family and we mourn the losses big and small together, too. A struggle for one is often a struggle for all of us. Life pulls us one way or another and the thread gets stretched and becomes taut but it doesn't break. It cant.

When the pictures of my mind kick in and I see characteristics of strength of family and our traditions that I have shared with my sons, I am proud. Included are determination to make a better life, extremely great work ethics, abilities to stretch a dollar, courage to move to a new country or join the service at a young age. Equally important is a sense of humor, you cant live, or love, without it. Family values and family loyalty. Faith. We have had bumps in the road. We have learned, through trial and error, that sometimes you have to back away. It is ok to wrap yourself up in your own life for awhile and disappear; that not everyone is a social animal but all of us are there for each other long distance or close by. We understand that just because we dont see or speak to each other as often as we like we still have that thread linking us together. Like the old song says, lean on me, I'll help you carry on.

Today, as I listen to this spring springing forward it brings us one more thing to celebrate with this family!! a new brightness to our thread. Frank Hercules, the littlest new family member, bounced into our lives and brought us new smiles. He was initiated into our club at just a few days old when he did got himself wrapped up in our family apron and thus our traditions. Our little Frank is going to be listening to some amazing "do you remember" stories and he will, I hope, learn that the loudest sound he hears is love.

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