Magnet Philosophy

Refrigerator magnets are full of wonder.

I have some that just hang there and show nothing and some that make me feel something. I have one blue magnet that our Dutch exchange student gave us many years ago, and even though the blue house means nothing to me the girl, Ulla, and her friends were a joy. They brought so much laughter and volleyball craziness to our lives one summer, she was sweet and tallllll and I think they all had fun. Ulla is the reason I know what Nutella is! Back to the magnets, though. The magnet from the insurance company is next to the chrome one both holding up papers and reminders and a family picture from last June. No big deal. My favorite one however, was a gift from a dear friend. A small Lucite frame with a watercolor quote saying what we all know to be true: Friends are Chosen Family.

We all know the old saying that you cant choose your parents. We all remember saying something like "you have to say I'm pretty, you're my Dad", or, "you only care cause you're my mother and that's your job". We may have heard that from our own kids over the years. Our chosen family doesn't have to say anything, they choose to be there. The people who come into our lives by circumstance or luck. The people we see on the street who immediately make us smile and who we can talk to forever about anything at all.

When I think about my chosen family it is like opening a gift. They give me hugs when needed, and we have crazy inside jokes to share and have been places both real and surreal that make memories. We can tease and jab and understand each other. I love them like family.

I don't remember the names but my grandmother had friends that were like family. They would come over for coffee and talk to her in Italian. She loved having them in her kitchen. Aunt Carole had close friends in New Jersey who she leaned on when she needed help with my cousin Thad. Uncle Joe has a great friend who was there when he needed her most and I am forever grateful for the angel Kathy. Just saying their names can bring a smile and a sense of comfort. I have amazing friends who can take one look at me and KNOW something is wrong and open their hearts up to me and their arms, too. The great thing about my chosen family is how very different we all are, different colors and genders and lifestyles. Some are highly educated, some not, some are goofy and some serious, some just like to hang out and some like to get up and go, some are much younger than I am and it doesnt matter. I love watching their lives interlace with mine.

The best thing is how you can always get more chosen family!! You can add to it all the time for your whole life. I have been adding to mine lately. One or two are people who came into my life because of theatre or parties or school, but all are welcome to stay and play. Some are old friends who came back after being lost for a while. But that is the thing about chosen family; you just pick up where you left off sometimes and let the good times start again. We all have more room for more family in our hearts.

So thanks to my family. Genetically linked or bonded through friendship. You all mean the world to me.